Friday, July 31, 2015

Blue Moon


Tonight is the Blue Moon: the second full moon of the month.  This is a rare occurrence.  It happens about once every 3 years or so.  I'm not going to go on about the history of this term -- that's easy enough to look up if you're interested.  Instead, I'm going to talk about what the Blue Moon means to me.

Why, beyond the obvious mathematical reason, would there be two full moons in one month?  Is it because the moon didn't feel she got it quite right the first time and needed a second chance?

The last blue moon was in August 2012, almost 3 years ago.  I remember it well, because we were stilll in the old house, trying to sell it.  It was a stressful time for us.  So, I took the opportunity to be silly with my kids and we had ourselves a Blue Moon party with blue glow sticks and fancy cupcakes on our deck at moonrise. It was fun.

Around that time I was corresponding more and more with Norman. Quite possibly my feelings were beginning to change as well.  Perhaps this blue moon was signalling that it was time for a second chance for me as well.  And that weekend the kids and I went to mine Herkimer diamonds and to visit Howe Caverns.  During our tour of the caverns, Ilse wanted me to stand on the illuminated pink calcite heart in the "Wedding Chapel." Standing on it meant that I would find true love within the year. And I did.

And now, today, what does THIS blue moon mean for me?  This blue moon finds me blue, like in the song, having lost my love. Why can't I have a second chance, like the moon, to shine brightly?

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Little Lion Man Returns



This week there was a celebration at the Villa of Hope's LIFE House.  Max successfully completed the LIFE program, a substance abuse recovery program.  Now, I am not naive enough to believe that we are all done and set for life:  I  know that there are many challenges ahead for Max (and for me).  But nonetheless, it is a real victory for him.  He succeeded by allowing his true self to shine through.  I am very, very proud of him.  And I could see tears gathering in the corners of the staff's eyes: they are going to miss him.

As for me, I found myself surprised when we got home.  I retreated into my room and cried and cried. Such a wave of emotions: Joy, Hope, Fear, and . . .the Sadness of missing someone who was instrumental in this journey.

But most of all, it's Hope.  Every day is a fresh start.  When we can talk to each other openly and without fear, then we can work things out together